And yet, here I was about to tuck into a Mars Bar encased in batter and crisped up in beef dripping. (Image: Sarah Caldecott) It shouldn't work. It ought not to work. It certainly is not for the diet.

More batter clung to the flat base of the bar than ... Incredibly, however, the deep-fried Mars bar was not the unhealthiest item on Clam Shell's menu. For roughly the same amount of money ...